Post 10: Interviewing Yourself

Dear LSU Theatre Underclassmen,

     

         Don’t be afraid to ask questions or ask for help. Your professors are there for you. They want you to reach for the stars, try and fail, and be there to pick you back up. I can’t tell you how supportive they are. This department has such a wealth of teachers that care about the development and welfare of their students.

Be a part of your theatre community. You should never feel left out. The best way to start is to volunteer to help. If you show how hard you work and how enthusiastic you are, you will quickly be put on the short list of people that everyone wants to work with. If you have a few spare hours and are interested in learning something new, go volunteer your time in one of the scenery, lighting, sound, film, or costume shops, even if you have your Theatre Practicums completed. They will love you for that.

Always be early to everything. Not only does it show commitment, work ethic, and ensures that you’re ready to work when the time comes, it also gives you time to prepare yourself for your work, instead of being dragged around by it.

If you commit to something, follow through. If you realize that you’re unable to follow through, notify who you’re accountable to immediately. Offer alternatives, try to find someone to assist or replace you. The extra effort goes a long way.

Never miss class. I made this mistake when I was an underclassman. Showing up and being an active participant in class is the biggest factor in not only your grade, but also is the biggest determining factor in what you’ll get out of the class and what you’ll learn. If a professor sees you missing classes, they’re less likely to be lenient on you when you’re struggling and their likelihood of assisting you outside of class time will drop considerably. The number one comment I always hear about students that struggle in coursework from professors is “they miss class”.

Try to get exposure to every facet of your craft. You never know when you’ll find something else that you’re passionate about. We all love the theatre and can’t see ourselves working in anything else, and being a theatre practitioner with a diversified skill set only helps you find more work in this art that you love. Having said that, if there is something other than theatre or the performing arts that you’re passionate about, explore that passion. This is hard work that does not guarantee a steady paycheck and if you can see yourself being happy with a different career, you should definitely consider it.

Please, take care of yourself. No matter what your role in the process is, if you overwork yourself, don’t sleep enough, or party too much, you’re going to push yourself too hard. When you push yourself too hard, you’ll get sick. When you get sick, you won’t be able to work at full capacity or be able to work at all. You will deny yourself the chance to put your 100% effort into your work, miss a big opportunity, and in the extreme, do permanent damage to your body/instrument!

Expose yourself to as much theatre as possible. Read plays, go to staged readings, experimental work, all LSU productions, community theatre, touring, and professional productions. Watch films. It is your responsibility to hone your critical eyes. Try to identify what you liked or didn’t like about performances and productions you see. Keep a journal if you’d like. Figure out what you like and don’t like. Explore past “I was entertained” and “I wasn’t entertained”.

If you find a teacher that you really enjoy and learn from, take more of their classes. Find a mentor. Ask their opinions and get their perspective. What they have to offer can be invaluable.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance.

-CD

Journal Entry 9: Alexander Techniques of the Soul

For this week, reflect on your own perception of your self worth, your abilities. How does your take on your abilities line up with reality? How do you know that? What do you find yourself saying to yourself that reinforces your self-image? How might you improve the messages you give to yourself?

 This prompt is something that I’ve personally been struggling and discovering the answer to for the last few years of my life. I honestly don’t have all of the answers to this question, but I’ll try to talk about everything I know so far.

I have discovered in the last few years (the past year in particular) that I am more of an intellectual than I first thought. My constant work in theatre in the last year has opened my eyes to the artist that I am, and also how much more there is to discover that is in me. I have trained as a singer for almost ten years now, and now that I’ve returned to school and gotten to immerse myself into courses and experiences that have made me a more complete performer, I feel so much more capable.

That being said, I still am struggling to get perspective on how I compare to others in my craft. Am I on the right track? Do I have a lot of catching up to do? I feel like I’m headed in the right direction, but sometimes I doubt myself. I suppose that that is a normal healthy thought process to have, and that there are always times when we doubt ourselves, but I do wish I had a way to get a good perspective. I am very excited about what the next year holds, because I have a lot of plans to help my journey into that perspective.  I will be heading to New York City during spring break and plan to get as much exposure to theatre as possible (if anyone has any suggestions, let me know), and this summer I plan on working out of state on my craft.

Now that I’m on the subject of my summer plans, I’ll talk about another aspect of my abilities. In the past 9 months, I’ve discovered that I have a passion for Sound Design. EJ Cho has been the major influence in my dive into this craft, and we all know that she is a fantastic teacher and mentor. She also pushes you to be your absolute best, and I think that I work best when someone is pushing me and I have someone to impress. In the next two days, I’ll have to decide if I want to head to the East Coast to pursue a Sound Design apprenticeship with a theatre company in Ithica, NY, or if I want to head to the West Coast to attend a Summer Acting Conservatory in Los Angeles. It’s wonderful to have these options, but it’s daunting trying to make a decision that will likely heavily influence the decisions I make concerning the work I do during my final semester of college and my post- graduation plans.

I want to find my voice as designer and I think that I am so excited about sound because it’s something that’s new to me and I think I have a skill for it. EJ has been very encouraging, and having that perspective has made me confident in the path that I’m taking in that discipline.

I think I am a talented actor who has gotten a lot of character roles, and have honed that part of my craft well. I am definitely interested in working on a role that offers a more (sorry Dr. Fletcher) “realistic” character. I really haven’t played many roles in that realm, and most of my work has been playing comedic roles or caricatures of people. I’d love to get some experience playing a character that has more (sorry again) “realistic” circumstances and views. That will challenge me as an actor and likely put me out of my comfort zone. Whatever I do, I want to continue working on all of my skills and be able to use them as a professional once I graduate.

I keep telling myself that I have to work as hard as I can while I have to opportunity to. I don’t know what the future holds, but while I’m here at LSU with the resources I have, I’m going to make the most of it. I think that this semester I have probably overcommitted and worked on too many projects, especially while taking 19 hours, but hopefully I’ll come out the other side in one piece.

Journal 8: Bugs in the Software of our Lives

I feel like our class has gotten to know each other pretty well, and we seem to know a little bit of each other’s “software”. As I can imagine, most of us were raised to be accepting of our fellow man, to always make sure that there’s more food in our neighbor’s bowl than our own. I know that is how my parents raised me.

I am lucky enough to have been born into an upper class family, in a loving and supportive household. I think that luckily I did not become “programmed” with some of the negative aspects of growing up as a somewhat privileged white kid, namely a sense of entitlement or lack of work ethic. Both of my parents came from families that had to work from much harder circumstances. My mom’s father was a salesman who worked from the ground up to build his career and my dad’s father worked his way from an entry-level position in his company to one of the leading roles. The attitude that was instilled into both of my parents was to work hard in order to make a better life for the future and your posterity. As a result of this, my mom and dad work very hard to provide for our family and support their children the best they can. Although my siblings and I grew up in a upper-class neighborhood, we still were expected to work around the house, get summer jobs, and do lawn work on the weekends while our neighbors hired gardeners and lawn care companies to tend to their landscaped yards. When I would ask my dad why we didn’t hire workers like our neighbors had, he’d always respond with “That’s what I have kids for!” I was always taught to never talk down to another human, and always show respect to each person I encountered.  

I will admit that my first year or two of college when I was on my own and out of my parent’s house, I had some readjusting to do when it came to being responsible for myself and staying on top of my school work, instead of hanging out with friends every spare minute. I also could’ve done a better job of not wasting my parent’s money on unnecessary things, since they’ve been the ones supporting me while I’ve been in school. A great reminder of my parent’s teachings was working in food service, a job that I’ve referenced heavily in this blog. That job absolutely taught me the value of money, while also giving me the opportunity to work and interact with people of incredibly varying backgrounds and beliefs. My attitude of respecting my co-workers and employees got me a long way, and I received respect in return because of that.

I’m going to be completely honest, as fantastic as I think my parents are and as much as I’ve learned from them, there are times when I’ve noticed that my “software” is a bit different than theirs. I think the major factor is that they grew up in a different time and generation, and the way the world views things has changed quite a bit since they were my age. 

For example, when I am involved in a show that has some characters or themes that are homosexual in nature, they can show some discomfort. They are fine with those themes and characters, and are supportive of every human’s right to love whoever they love, but I can tell that they feel a little uncomfortable at times when they are exposed to some of the more intimate situations that plays like the ones produced in the Outworks Festival showcase.

Something that puts into perspective for me is a Barbara Walters interview from 1983 where she is interviewing Harvey Firestein about Torch Song Trilogy and La Cage Aux Folles. My parents were right around the age that I am now when this interview was broadcast, and from my perspective, some of the questions Barbara asks could be seen as insulting today.

Here’s a link to the interview.

Journal 7: Short and Sweet and Synchronous

I feel like I talk about my old job quite often, but a big moment of synchronicity in my life was when I eventually left my job. I realized while working as the manager of the sandwich restaurant that I was working at that being a restaurant was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I realized that I was most happy when I was working in the theatre.

After several months of a "downhill" period that did not encourage me to stay with the company I worked for, I decided to return to school to finish my undergraduate degree. I reapplied to school with low hopes of getting accepted due to my low GPA. I took somewhat of a "leap of faith" and hoped for the best.

Almost simultaneously I auditioned for Theatre Baton Rouge's production of Les Misérables, and was miraculously cast in the 30 member ensemble, even though over 300 people auditioned for the show.

I was ecstatic when I was accepted back into LSU, and that summer took classes while working on the show. That summer was really fantastic. I did incredibly well in my classes, and had a really great experience during the run of Les Mis. It really solidified for me the fact that I was in the right environment doing the work that I really wanted to be doing. I was even asked to be a part of a subsequent show because the theatre enjoyed working with me. Positive attitude and professionalism go a long way!

That summer was the time when I finally decided to take control over the trajectory of where my life was headed and do what I really loved to do. The absolute best lesson I learned is that the most important thing to do in life is to do what you.

A great quote that I've heard is "Love the life you live. Live the life you love."

Censors and Critics

At my former job, I was a manager in charge of opening our store every morning. The store I worked at was a sandwich restaurant, and we served ingredients that were freshly prepared every day. That stipulation required me to arrive to work every morning by 5:00 am, in order to begin baking bread, slicing vegetables, and prepare any other things needed to get the store in "Open" conditions. Sometimes it felt like a race to get to opening conditions. The store opened for business at 11:00am, and it was ideal to be completely prepared for the day by 10:30. It was also store policy that if we had bread that was baked and ready to eat, that we would serve any walk-in customers.  Our owner mandated that we be prepared by 9:30, so that we would have time to catch a break to collect ourselves before every morning rush. After several months of opening consistently, I began to get a little over confident with my work. I began coming in later than usual, and rely on my skills to make up for time. I slowly got further away from having the store ready at the required time, and I wasn’t giving myself that 30-minute break to prepare myself for the day. This affected how I worked later in the day, because I would start to crash long before 5:00 pm when I would clock out.

One day, my boss called me and we had a long discussion about how my decision to push the envelope is affecting my work. He could tell that I was wearing myself out, and playing fast and loose with my opening times. At first I thought that he was criticizing my work quality. After taking a day to think about it, I realized that he was trying to get me to make my job easier for me, by just showing up earlier and taking time to do each task correctly.

I went into work the next week with his criticisms in mind. I got to work earlier than usual, and took my time doing each task perfectly. After getting the store open, I was able to take a small break. Giving myself the 30-minute window to sit down and eat something did wonders for the rest of the day. I was more stable with my energy level, and I wasn’t crashing at the end of the day.

Underclassmen need to keep in mind the weight of their words when hey give criticism. Before saying what they’re thinking, they should think “what do I want to do with my words”, and “what do I expect my subject to do with what I am saying?” Of course criticism should be constructive, but especially in an educational environment we should strive to always look for an opportunity to teach.

Criticism should be respectful. Sometimes it is important to know the proper time to give your truthful thoughts. If a performer asks what you thought of their show immediately after the performance, you should try to leave them with a positive feeling. If you have concerns about their work, you should invite them to meet with you at a later time in a more private setting. We should be as supportive as possible in this department as we learn to cultivate our art as well as help others grow in their own.

Post two: Fear

(1) How does fear affect your career/identity as an artist?
(2) How do you deal with that fear?

When I first entered the department as a theatre major, one of my first fears was "Am I really an actor?".
I transfered in after a long period of having very little exposure to the arts for a span of about three years. My work schedule required me to work on most nights and weekends, so I didn't have a lot of opportunity to see very much theatre. Before this three year span, I had spent about two years as a music- vocal performance student. I was still studying a performance art, but not quite the theatrical acting that I had started to learn in high school.
One of my major reasons for transferring was that I wanted to improve myself as an actor and all around performing artist. I didn't want to just be thought of as "that guy with the good voice". I knew that I had good technical singing training, but I wanted to be able to connect it with a performance that could affect an audience.  My fears stemmed from the fact that I felt I was so disconnected from the art. Luckily, many of those fears have been alleviated since I've joined the department.
 I think that my fears now have to do with my future. Now that I have more skills in the field that I am passionate about, how do I implement them? How do I define success for myself? What will happen if I fall short of my definition?

Other fears I have concerns my future farther down the road. While I am excited to start a career in theatre, I know that there's a low likely-hood that I will make a livable wage as just an actor. I hope that because I've developed an array of skills because of my liberal arts education and my past life experiences I will be able to expand my working potential.
That being said, one day I'd like to be part of a family of my own. I'm not saying that I'm currently climbing every mountain and searching high and low in search of someone at this juncture in my life, but I do want to one day find a woman to share my life with. If and when I find that person, I want to be able to support her, push her to achieve her goals, and live happily and I'd like for her to do the same for me. I'd like to think of a day that I could be a father and start a family of my own. I love my parents and think they they molded me into to person I am today. I want to make my mark on the world not just with my art but also by producing children that will want to make a difference in the world and be able to realize and pursue their dreams because I (and when I say "I" I mean "we") was able to give a quality of life and certain opportunities that my parents worked hard to provide for me. My fear is that if I start to neglect any of these goals for myself, that I may not be able to achieve everything I want to.
There' a song from the musical [title of show] called "Die Vampires, Die!"
The song gives a name to all of our doubts, fears, and all of the naysayers in our lives: Vampire.
Give it a listen, it's a comedic song that shows this particular character's approach to dealing with her fears.

I'll include a link to the song here.

I think that my fears can sometimes feed each other. My compounding fears about my future in this art make me question my own abilities. There are days where I've fallen short in my work, am struggling with some scene work, and I allow my Vampires in. I start to think that I should look for a back up plan, or try to find an entry-level job in Baton Rouge and try to be content. But I know that if I don't take this chance now, I never will. I have to tae this leap and see where I stand. I'll wave away the Vampires and step forward into this new chapter in my life!